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Pure



Number of posts : 4
Age : 26
Location : Illinois
Registration date : 2009-04-29

PostSubject: FML   Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:13 am

Your favorites from www.fmylife.com or your own.

Here are a few I like

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
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emp
no|Surrender Jedi Master
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Number of posts : 362
Age : 27
Location : Québec,canada
Registration date : 2008-09-24

PostSubject: Re: FML   Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:20 am

lmao
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Kapkin
no|Surrender Leader
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Number of posts : 5108
Age : 28
Location : Québec, Canada
Registration date : 2008-09-22

PostSubject: Re: FML   Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:27 pm

lol

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Pure



Number of posts : 4
Age : 26
Location : Illinois
Registration date : 2009-04-29

PostSubject: Re: FML   Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:26 pm

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML (ZINNGG)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML (YEAH FYL)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then proceeded to make out, and sleep with, my 'best friend' whom she has never met before. FML (SUX2BU)
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eth

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Number of posts : 820
Age : 29
Location : philly
Registration date : 2008-09-25

PostSubject: Re: FML   Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:23 pm

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML
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Elm
no|Surrender Leader
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Number of posts : 5173
Age : 29
Location : Ontario, Canada
Registration date : 2008-09-22

PostSubject: Re: FML   Fri May 01, 2009 3:18 am

Pure wrote:
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then proceeded to make out, and sleep with, my 'best friend' whom she has never met before. FML (SUX2BU)

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

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ImaFuckinMartian
nS' bitch
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Number of posts : 140
Age : 29
Location : New York City
Registration date : 2008-10-10

PostSubject: Re: FML   Fri May 01, 2009 1:27 pm

Today i spent the whole day pwning Kapkin and Elm in JKA. My girlfriend found out i play Star Wars and broke up with me, put a video of me playing on youtube, broke my car windows, and told all my friends i had Crunch bar for a dick. FML
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