No Surrender
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


...and no mercy...
 
HomeLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

 

 Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

Go down 
2 posters
AuthorMessage
Kapkin
no|Surrender Leader
Kapkin


Number of posts : 5121
Age : 35
Location : Québec, Canada
Registration date : 2008-09-22

Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty
PostSubject: Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi   Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi EmptySat Dec 16, 2017 7:11 am

Before we start,

this reviews contents
SPOILERS


Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRgcIU4MKHZkZNeDt_tAewyfwX7PAmSdj_7wdg_FInkZw8Um9F_


Alright,
Before we start,

I'll just talked a lil about what i thought of force awaken,
I really liked it.
To me this was a nearly perfect first second half for the saga.
Sure i'll agree with peopel saying it was lacking imagination, but in the end, i teared up more then once watching it.
Solo entering the millennium, Rey catching her saber for the first time while fighting kylo,
And finally Rey giving her saber to Luke.

So i'm basically sitting in the theater full of hopes and hypes for ep8.
Movie starts, after the frist 10 min i already need to calm myself, i'm already angry.
I gotta admit i wanted a darker then the force awaken movie. Force awaken is like as mmutch as i want my starwars movie to be in the kid side. More then that and its too much !
So movie start and already i can feel like this movie is made to appeal to the next generation:

Poe is literally fighting an army by himself.
Sure they explain briefly why.. (his ship is faster then their cannon), but that never stopped the imperial to kill x-wing before. Not during the death starts battle, nor during the killer base battle.
Even if its true, are we really having such a stupid empire as an enemy ? They supposedly took control of the galaxy once again yet they forgot to deploy their tie fighters in time ? Yet they built a fucking big ship to destroy other fucking big ship while being useless against smaller ships ? (even tho thats like the majority of the rebels force ?)

So movie starts, it already is saying at loud ''None of your fav heroes will die, they are all invincible"
Then there is this very too force poe / hux convo where they do what we do in discord, ',Can you hear me ? , hello ? , you there ? '' Like this is war no ? What is Hux doing ?
why is the imperials letting them toy with them that way?
Did Tarkin called Alderaan before destroying them to warned them up ?

In this first fight scene so much went wrong for me, how EVERY Boomer exploded, BUT ONE, then how everyone in the ship died, BUT ONE , then how poe is like ''you're he LAST ONE remaining we count on you'', how she hit her ships with her feet to make the remote fall down (even tho WE ALL KNOW in battle that your ship will be WAY more likely to shake from a laser then your foot on the ground) how she miss to catch it BUT oh last second with epic music she catch it again, zoom in on that reckless cause it will be important near the end.... annnd end the shot , perfect guys.
Like everything was all sooooo epic/obvious. I felt like i was watching an other superheroes movie.

So back to Rey / Luke,
I'm tearing up, Luke takes the saber and just throws it over board ? I gotta say, i was so mad. Was one of my fav moment in ep7, and they just throw it away to make some ''jokes'' or to help us understand this new ''Luke''
I gotta say, this new luke,
I hated it.
I was so sad they like destroyed the vision i saw in Luke, what he could become, what he fought for.
The only thing that helped me was knowing Mark Hamill himself was against what they did with his character.



So now,
Very Childish, Check,
Very confusing grasp of old beloved characters , Check,

Now to the plot.

New tech that makes them track rebels ships ?
How does it work ?
Couldn't they track Luke's x-wing ?
Is there only one tech like this in one ship ? Do we have to expect the impiere to always be abble to find any rebel ship ?
Its the main plot, why cant we explain a lil more how this new tech work ? Even snoke looked surprised when hux tells him about that ''trap''... Hes like ''oh really ? we can do this now ? ahhaha , nice, well done Hux'' like aren't you suppose to be in charge here snoke ? wouldnt that new tech be sponsored by you ?

Alright i wont go over all the neck-picky things in the movie, but here's a small list that made me dislike a lil more the movie:

Lea flying in space
The rebels fighting each other for like helf the movie, landing more shoots into other rebels then the empire (Girls shoots on finn, Lea shoots on poe, rebels shoots on rebels..) and all of it for no reason, poejust wants to move on and act, commander have a plan but wont tell him, like why..
The fact that the rebel main ship can get out of the way of the empire main canon but cant outrun them ? is this an other empire mistake ? like oops we forgot to go foward for a minute...
The fact that while being chase people can escapes with pods or other ships that easily without explanations
The fact that Snoke dies without us knowing who he was, how he got there, what is goal was, etc. (he gets manipulated while claiming he was the one doing the manipulation, idk if its him being super weak or kylo being super strong. If its kylo being super strong, then why is he getting bullied by Rey so easily... )
The fact that new force user can basicly do long distance call to one an other during shower time.
The fact that they killed some of my fav caracters without giving them the death they deserved, (Luke, Akbar)
How Rey looks jealous once Finn comes back and take care of that new chinese girl
How they need a very special Code cracker to get in the destroyer, but yet there is conveniently one in their exact confinement.
How BB8 can do it all, drive an imperial Walker, or shoots thousand on coins he found on the floor ? OR was it that stupid lil alien again that gave him all his fortune ?
How the girl save Finn be puts every other rebel in danger while doing so (thankfully no one cares cause they all invincible)
The fact that Chewy can just shows up under there noses, drops rey, then leave. Then rey exit the destroyer ? With a stolen ship maybe ? Go meet with chewy in some other place ? then they come back in time for the final fight...
How the coder ask for payment that is equal to maybe 1% of what the alliance would give him after completing that mission
How that paiement (the neckless) in the end, is use to open the fucking door, as if he knew all alone he needed that part but tankly found it on that girl. I'm just glad we zoomed on it during the first fight tbh i'd be sad to have miss that deep addition to the movie...
How we learn Rey as a Dark side she dont care exploring but we dont talk about it more then 1 min ?

and finally how we never hear again of the knights of ren...
like why ?
Really felt like JJ and Johnson hate eachother, Johnson was like , oh i saw all those door you left open for me to play with, but i'll destroy them all
Knights or Ren ? idk what your talking about...
Rey's parents ? There are nobody's that drinks and don't care. basically jakku's hobos.

Now, this deserves a section of itself.
Crappy/cheesy jokes,
If you wanna make a kid movie then fine ! Use those... but if not, please put some more thought into it ?
Tbh i wont agree on the fact that this was suppose to be a kid movie until they acknowledge it themself, they sells the movie with epicness and dark scenes so dont come to me after with a kid movie. When i watched Frozen i was expecting a Kid movie.
w/e, so here's an example of those poorly written jokes.

Finn and girl are running away on a CGI horse.
Finn is like ''WE NEED COVER''
Horse turn into a small alley way,
Finn now has shits slapping his face cause that alley so tiny. He says:
'' THIS IS TOO MUCH COVER ! TOO MUCH COVER''
like .... no...
This aint funny,
This is easy.
As easy as BB8 Blowing on it gun after shooting all those coins. (where did he stored those btw ? how can he roll with them ? )

just feel like we lose SO much of quality trying to make those shitty jokes,

Like Luke removing dusk from his shoulder after being attack by million lasers.



I hated the casino scenes, didnt look starwarsy to me, but cant explain why, just seemed like fantasy like. More like the Harry potter bank then starwars.


Things i loved about the movie:
I liked where they took Kylo. Liked his betraying nature


TLDR

Poorly written characters,
cheap/hollow one-liner jokes that are the staples on superhero movies,
contradiction in well establish caracters,
cheesy moments,
extended scenes that obviously are made to entertain younger audience,
an overabundance of CGI
and a bad plot.


I wouldn't even be mad if Disney would announce ep9 would start of e7, that ep8 was just a misunderstanding.
My dream come true ep9 starting scene:
Luke wakes up from meditation, having flash back from ep8, then turn around and see's rey holding him his saber. And we start from there.




Score :

3.713331/10
Back to top Go down
http://www.iamgay.com
Kapkin
no|Surrender Leader
Kapkin


Number of posts : 5121
Age : 35
Location : Québec, Canada
Registration date : 2008-09-22

Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty
PostSubject: Re: Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi   Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi EmptySat Dec 23, 2017 11:34 am

Just got a great idea for the plot of what should have been VIII

0:00 To 60:00
Kylo goes to to Snoke, They train for like the first hour or so (you know that he was already there for a while, like couple of months maybe more after force awaken (hes training him with anger so you can feel that Kylo is becomming more and more powerful but his hate for snoke is also growing. , cuts with Rey's trainning with luke, or not, but you know that when rey meets up with Luke that hes gonna train her. like he accept his saber etc.

While training is happening, Hux is chasing the resistance. (maybe with the hyperspace tracker) But in the end its basically like they chase them but they still very behind, they know where the resistance is jumping so they makes traps forward to cut them off (but Poe and friends fight them off and are doing pretty good for themself, Like they destroyed most of their pursuer) The Rebellion finally land to an old rebel base, but then near the end we realized that even tho they always seem behind and unable to catch them up, that Hux from the start was tracking them with hyper  space thingy that maybe a mole planted on one of the ships.  So he knows where they at,
Then Snoke send kilo to finish his training to kill Lea.


60:00 to 120:00
So big battle, on a desert planet, or w/e.
Fight fight fight, They got surprised so they cant access their transport ships in time, they gotta fight. Lea's think about a plan to escape (witch was a good plan, but now shes facing kylo's army)
Kylo's shows (With the knights of ren????????) up kill like TONES of rebel, to get to Lea. There, he hesitates like in the movie, but the silver trooper kills her), then luke shows up with rey, They both saw him hesitated, rey gotta defend finn from the silver tropper, (finn dies saving Rey) she tries to fight the silver trooper. but there is also ALOT of normal one so she as trouble keeping up.

Kylo + Luke fight end with Luke being killed by Kylo (luke couldnt fight Kylo with all his might, he had remorse etc for having let him go to the dark)
So luke sacrifice himself to save the rebellion, the rebel escape with the falcon + poe (what remains), but Rey gets capture, now you see the scene with Snoke + Kylo + Rey,  
Kylo is piss at Snoke cause hes not powerful enough (Luke bested him, and he coudnt finish lea)
Rey is piss cause all her friend died
Snoke is having a good time,
out of anger they join force to kill him and his guard. Maybe it happens super quick to, like maybe Rey was getting very angry, and you could see the look on Snoke face being like VERY MUCH interested in her raw power, maybe more then what he had with Kylo, But then Kylo Feels betrayed and Jealous and then just cuts him super quick maybe, like from the back or w/e idk....


120:00 to 150:00
Then Rey gets Angrier an angrier, proceed to fight the guards with Kylo,
Kylo is like amma build something great, Blance, etc, join me,
Shes like thinking about it, but then we hear Luke (Kinda like the Obiwan ''Run'') and she can take her chance and use some kind of diversion to escape

(The diversion: Shes thinking about it, cuts to the Falcon coming out of Hyperspace, with poe and a small army, (Rebels that we saw Lea called before dying)
Cuts to the transponder rey has to link her to finn that now C3P0 or R2D2 has in ''hand''
They are not enough to destroy Snoke'S ship, but they shake it good enough, witch give Rey the moment she needed to bail.

End witch the Rebellion being very down from getting reckt,
Option 1: and Rey being very confused about her own emotion.
Option 2: and Rey looking trough the cockpit of the Falcon in tear, but with resolve.
(depending on where JJ wants ep.IX to go.)

Then end,
Best Starwars Movie ever,
By Kapkin,


Some mentions,
Finn helped to find the mole?, or the gadjet they used to track them, but its now too late, the empire is there. (maybe it gived Lea JUST enought time to call for reenforment. Or plan an escape route.)
Poe is Great. Not invinsible, but you can tell he saved them a couple time with his godlike flying
No Rose,
No Purple head girl
Akbar is not in the movie, but a the very end when coming out of the hyper space.
multiple actor from the force awaken are getting killed (you pay them w/e they want disney, we gotta have some consistency)
Hux is never on the actually battle field but you realised he is actually pretty damn brilliant.
No hyperspace ramming ships
No casino scene, Finn is not in the movie alot, but when he is he feel like he is part of the rebellion, help with the mole and in the end sacrifice himself for Rey.
If we dont see the knights of Ren in the movie, maybe in the very scene when Rey looks down the cockpit in tears, Cuts/ you see Kylo returning her look, but really hes not looking at her he is looking at his knights bowing in front of him with hux in the back. (Kylo's look on his face means, alright no more fooling around, we are on the hunt now.)
Back to top Go down
http://www.iamgay.com
Skittlez
no|Surrender Jedi
Skittlez


Number of posts : 456
Age : 34
Location : Baton Rouge
Registration date : 2010-09-13

Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty
PostSubject: Re: Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi   Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi EmptySat Aug 15, 2020 1:43 am

I liked how Luke kinda proved through his character how the concept of holier-than-thou Jedi douches were overrated.  Also green alien titty milk.  I give this movie 8.357924/10.Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Is-this-nsfw-i-honestly-dont-know
Back to top Go down
Kapkin
no|Surrender Leader
Kapkin


Number of posts : 5121
Age : 35
Location : Québec, Canada
Registration date : 2008-09-22

Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty
PostSubject: Re: Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi   Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi EmptySat Aug 15, 2020 7:22 am

sorry skittle, you are now banned for life
Back to top Go down
http://www.iamgay.com
Sponsored content





Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty
PostSubject: Re: Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi   Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Star wars episode 7
» Star Wars Episode IX
» Star wars exposition
» Lol Star Wars College Humor
» Star Trek

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
No Surrender :: General Section :: Night at the Movies!-
Jump to: